Stop Hating on Trophy Wives

You know, its time somebody stood up for people who like to share relations with good looking people, and the good looking people who like to share relations (and maybe a little something more) with those who are rich and powerful. Where is it written that to be rich or powerful, and to run for political office, that you need to marry some ugly babe? Just because George H. Bush did it doesn’t mean the template can’t be tossed aside.

That’s why its time to come to the defense of Fred Thompson and his choice of Mrs. Thompsons. Fred is best known as the Senator who turned Hollywood. He parlayed his archetype character: the older, wiser senior officer who wants to give the young out-of-his-league maverick a chance (Hunt for Red October) into a series of minor roles to the point that he wound up playing this character as a regular on one of the ubiquitous “Law & Orders” shows (where the perps are always guilty, the DAs know no rules, and the whole deal likely gets tossed on appeal).

Fred’s also known for liking his wives to be more built for comfort than for speed, and with the kind of looks that get men openly staring (the easiest way to scope out another guy’s wife/date is to have them staring at the pair that’s with you).

Seriously, Fred’s pimping the hell out of the celebrity Republican lifestyle (ask Alan Keyes how much fun he had) and that means being seen by people, people who have money they want you to spend, eating lots of baked chicken, sipping lots of brackish wine, and introducing his significant others.

From that point he can say whatever the hell he wants about taxes, guns, gays, abortion, Osama or Obama, the Tennessee Titans, or Dick Wolf’s genius. Who’s listening? Any straight, hetero, Republican red-blooded male is checking out Jeri. And any suitable female is either also checking out Jeri or wondering about the kind of roaring lion Fred keeps in his pocket.

Sure, without her standing next to him, or an accompanying photo of her with him, Fred sounds (and looks) like some hick who didn’t study the index card notes he was given last night. Sure, his seduction of being compared with Ronald Reagan hasn’t instilled in him the overwhelming confidence to deliver his lines with the necessary steely certainty. And boy, if the talk gets around to family values he’s going to stumble unless the talk gets away from family and moves towards celebrity/pop news.

When a man moves from this:

to this:

It’s obvious that he knows a good thing when he feels it. So quit hating.

Look, if Fred does get the nomination, that’s a good thing. Thousands of creative cyber minds will do photoshop magic to make her appear even more provocative, while a few dozen cyber sleuths will set about to find authentic pictures of her in various states of undress, or authenticate those photoshop submissions that invariably will pop up on these Internets. Think of all of those titillating downloads and how ol’ Fred will seem like he really does know a little something more than the rest of us.

Hey, those of you who are married can take a simple play from ol’ Fred’s playbook: Fix a steady look into her eyes (put down the beer can if you're holding it) and in a steady voice tell your wife you think of her as, “something more than a pretty trophy wife, a lot more.” If the kids will leave you alone for 20 minutes she may show you something that’ll put a smile on your face. You don’t need Fred’s money or Hollywood connections, just the impression that you have the right stuff. It works for Fred, it can work for you too.